The Invisible Load of Grief: Burnout, Motherhood, and Spiritual Healing

Those big feelings of grief are like a stripping of innocence.

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Sometimes, the world expects us to keep going. To show up. To be strong.Even when we’re falling apart inside.

This piece is for the mother, the daughter, the leader...... the woman holding it all together while her own heart is in pieces. The one caring for her children and her aging parents. The one holding space for others while her own grief sits quietly, waiting to be seen, heard, loved, and healed.

I know this feeling intimately...

Grief Cracked Me Open: A Personal Awakening

When my mum passed away suddenly from a massive stroke, nothing could have prepared me for how the pain gouged a channel to my soul.... reconnecting me to my wisest self… my intuitive self.

Grief did that. Not in a neat, wrapped up in a bow kind of way. But in the real, raw, stripped-back-to-nothingness kind of way.

The kind of grief that lives in your lungs. That takes your breath. That demands your presence because you simply don’t have the energy to pretend anymore.

In those weeks and months, I did everything, caring for my dad whose health was unraveling, parenting my son, managing a business, moving house, trying to function. On the surface, I was coping. But inside, I was a screaming raging mess.

You know that stage in a butterfly’s transformation, where the caterpillar dissolves completely inside the cocoon? That was me. No structure. No timeline. No roadmap. Just the sacred mess of becoming.

And within that soup, something holy started to stir.

The Sandwich Generation: Caring for Everyone but Yourself

At 40-something, I found myself caught in the middle. Trying to keep a business alive, love my child well, and care for my father who was unraveling before my eyes. There was no time to process anything. And yet, everything inside me was breaking.

This in-between season so many of us find ourselves in, caring for children while caring for aging parents, is known as the sandwich generation.

But what isn't often spoken about is the invisible emotional toll. The grief that doesn’t come from death alone, but from the slow dissolving of the world you knew... the detaching of your old ways, the severing of connections and experiences you assumed would be with you until the end.

The world as you knew it… is gone.

Grief Lives in the Lungs: The Body Always Knows

I couldn’t shake this lung infection. My breath was shallow. I felt like I was drowning, not just by illness but by responsibility and my own mental health challenges. Grief had taken root in my body.

That’s the thing about unresolved grief..... it doesn’t disappear. It waits. It finds a home in your body, especially when you're busy, being busy.....holding others to hold yourself.

And for me, grief made its home in my lungs.

When Everything Falls Apart: The Breakdown Before the Breakthrough 

I kept showing up. Kept pretending. Kept powering through. But I was broken. Exhausted. Fragile. And still, I clung to the illusion of control.

It wasn't until I let go..... really let go! That something new was born. When I finally surrendered, I started to hear a different voice. A quiet one. One that had been buried under productivity and performance for years.

That voice was spirit. My intuition. My inner wisdom. And she had been waiting patiently for me to come home.

Healing Through Rituals and Stillness

When I moved into my new home, I made sure it had a bath. Water calms me. It grounds me. It became the place where I could let the mask fall and just be.

From that space, I started to create small, intentional rituals. Lighting candles. Crying. Talking to my mum out loud. Hugging trees. Journaling. Screaming into the ocean. Reading poetry. Laying on the earth. Asking one question: What do I need?

One of the books that found me in that season was Mirrors in the Earth by Asia Suler. Her way of weaving nature with healing felt like a warm blanket, wrapping around me. Another was The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer, which reminded me that healing doesn’t come from forcing. It comes from allowing.

Ritual doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to be sacred.

You Don’t Have to Be Okay to Be Powerful

Two years after my mum passed, I still have days when I find a handwritten note and sob. The sting has lessened, but it hasn't disappeared. That’s not weakness. That’s being alive.

You’re allowed to not know. You’re allowed to be in process. You’re allowed to be in pieces and still be powerful.

Healing doesn’t look like a straight line. It seems like falling apart and coming back together in new ways. With more softness. With more honesty.

You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone

When my mum passed, people showed up with meals, games for my son, and warm hugs. That was love. That was tribe. That was nervous system regulation in the form of community.

You don’t have to navigate sacred seasons of transformation in silence. You weren’t meant to.

If you’re in a season like this now — grief, burnout, breakdown, or becoming — know that it is not the end.

It is the beginning of your return.

Ready to go deeper?

If this spoke to your heart, I invite you to explore The Inner Architect Masterclass — a 9-month journey to rebuild from the inside out, through nervous system healing, spiritual connection, and soul-aligned leadership.

🔗 Join the waitlist for The Inner Architect Masterclass

You're not broken. You're in a state of transformation.

With love,

Fionna

Keep calm, keep curious, and stay connected.

🎧 I also share more on self-care and rituals this in my podcast episode, “The Power of Personal Rituals”💌 Or join my VIP list to get more stories, tools, and support like this one.